i know you just answered another question about relationships, but i wanted your opinion. i've heard from some people that going into college with a hs relationship can lead to a messy breakup, but i've heard from other people that a break up right before college can also make for a weirder transition. any thoughts on this from what you've experienced/seen in college?
If you’re both going to the same college and want to stay together, you can and you can make it work. I broke up with my gf of 2 years right before college (and admittedly should’ve sooner) but I was happy I did. I didn’t feel restricted when meeting people, I was just able to introduce myself as myself and have a good time.
The thing with relationships and college is, is that once you get to college, everything changes. You (most likely) don’t hang out with the same people or do the same things. You live with new people in a new place with a constant barrage of social interaction and changes. Stress becomes greater and a lot of people really find themselves and their niche in college. There are a lot more temptations and opportunities as well, which can definitely stress any relationship.
If you’re on the fence, I would say break up. You meet so many awesome people in college, and I think it’s honestly probably the best time in life to be single. For the obvious reasons, you can hook up with people or have unrestricted interactions. But on a deeper level, you don’t have to worry about any sort of assumptions when you meet people. It’s a good time do to what you want, when you want, and not really worry about what other people think.
If you’re going to different colleges, I would definitely recommend breaking up. Some select people make it work, but I would say they’re the exception.
That’s just my opinion though, so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck and hmu if you have other questions!
ps the transition to college is going to be weird no matter what. Nobody really knows what’s going on, and you sort of just have to experience it. A breakup won’t add to that, necessarily.
what are relationships like in college? i havent really dated or hooked up or anything like that in high school so im not sure what to expect.
I mean they vary, just like high school. Some people come in with relationships and stick with it, some come in and then break it off. I would say the pretty large majority of people aren’t looking for a solid relationship but just hook up.
I don’t know your personality, but here’s what I would recommend: it’s not going to be easy (necessarily), but meet as many people as you can, as often as you can. Some of the people in my dorms I hesitated to meet at first turned out to be my best friends. And the kids I met first turned out to be douchebags. So I would say any time you have a chance, and I mean ANY (class, waiting in line for lunch, in your dorms, at a club) meet people and introduce yourself.
For my new years resolution last year, I decided to meet someone new every day for 30 days. For the first probably 10 days it was pretty hard, and seemed like I was forcing conversation with the girl in front of me or the kid who lent me a pencil. But after a bit you realize it just easily becomes a part of life, and I would recommend doing that all the time.
This will definitely help with relationships as far as like meeting new people goes and help to branch out more. Unfortunately, as far as I’ve experienced, people seem more flaky in college, but I think that’s because everyone has so much to do and so many options that nailing one thing down can be difficult. For hooking up or dating, I would just say don’t force it. Meet the girls/guys in your dorm and go party with them, and meet people at the party. Just try to have a good time and don’t worry too much about one person because like I said relationships change pretty quickly, especially as a freshman.
Let me know if you have any other questions or need help with anything!
Man, as of late, I’ve been missing a lot of things. I haven’t seen my sister since August when she went to Brazil, and I miss her tons. I haven’t seen friends from home in a long time. I constantly desire going out and playing a good, competitive game of soccer, and I REALLY miss that. Soccer was something I could always count on being good at, and having fun doing. I never realized how much time I put into it and how much relief it gave me. It was always a great way to forget my worries for a few hours and just feel alive. I don’t know if I have something now that makes me feel that way. In control, the rush of happiness and freedom flowing through my veins. A strong sense of purpose in the game.
And maybe that’s what I really miss. A strong sense of purpose and control. Every class is difficult, and getting a handle on them seems impossible. Because of that, I had to quit work, which was my most direct connection to my friends. And the friends that I do have often seem so hit-and-miss, I don’t really know what matters anymore.
Man this shit is hard. I need a good activity to give me some release.
how has your life changed between high school and college? what things (if any) are still the same?
Oh man, it’s pretty different haha. Things that stay the same are…depending on where you go, maybe a few friends, or the state.
Things that change…I mean you live by yourself surrounded by people you don’t know, but should meet. Normally you only have a few classes a day, and you spend a bigger chunk of the day doing homework. The classes are definitely more difficult, and if you struggle or need help you need to be pretty assertive about getting that help. There are hundreds of awesome clubs and things to do. There are lots of parties and activities and if you’re like me you’ll wish you had the time and energy to do more. You’ll lose old friends and make lots of new ones, which can often be a good thing. Depending on where you go, you’ll eventually have to start taking care of yourself a lot as well which kinda sucks if you’re not clean or can’t cook a variety of stuff.
Hmm. Recently, I’ve also been thinking about the psychological changes that happen that don’t seem as immediately prevalent. For example, a strong sense of security, for me. In high school, I had tons of control, I knew what would happen in my classes and could breeze through them, I had a super solid group of friends who had been friends for years, I had sports which I love and family around all the time to take care of me. In college, a lot of that shifts. Classes become seemingly impossible sometimes, friends change a lot and come and go, you always wish you had more time to do stuff or be active, and your family is not around anymore. College is definitely a good realization of how life is really going to be, and as hard or stressful as it can be sometimes, it’s also usually a lot of fun, and you learn just as much in class as you do out of it.
Hi I was wondering if you have any insight to what greek life like is at cu?? do you know anyone in a sorority or are they for weird people there or anything like that? aha just curious about whether i might rush or not
Greek life isn’t bad. I don’t like them, they’re def not for me but I have tons of friends in them.
just wanted to stop by and say i hope you're feeling better! being sick during the school year can be the *worst* so i totally feel for you. hopefully they figured out what was up and got it all sorted out for you! :)
Thanks! Yeah my kidneys were jacked, they weren’t sure exactly what was wrong. I appreciate it! I hope all is well with you.
Well, today is Saturday, and I’ve felt like shit since Monday. I’ve been in the hospital since Wednesday night. Missing a week of school, work, and life has really been tough (not to mention the pain). What a start to a year and semester.
You hear that song, that noise, and the feeling starts to well up…
Moving in this summer was such a fun experience. Hanging out with Torin and Jacob just partying, laughing, getting random shit for our half-assed apartment, smoking on the balcony, and listening to music.
For me, this song brings back so much. Such happy thoughts of the carefree life that used to be.
It also brings up sadness. At the moment, I’m halfway through my sophomore year, and already know that my roommates are both living elsewhere next year. It doesn’t really hurt, it just feels strange. Sort of like going somewhere new does.
I guess I didn’t realize how much I cared for them as well as the people around me. You live with someone for a year (or even half) and pretty soon you start to look at them more as family (at least, I do).
Thanks to everyone for giving me something to look back on. I’ve had a lot of good memories too, and sometimes it’s easy to just see the pain and hardship that’s happening. Colorado really is the best thing that has happened to me, and I can’t wait for the next curveball.